Let me start with a simple comparison between our culture as Egyptians and the American culture. Not in all aspects of course. I only want to draw the lights towards marriage; Relationships in general. Well, I have no solid statistical source in my hands (and I'm too lazy to look for one online). But I guess I could safely note that, as a general knowledge thing, or at worst as conventional wisdom, divorce rate (i.e. rate of failure of relationships) in the US is way higher than here in Egypt. Same ratio could also be applicable to the number of people seeking therapy. And the number of teens keeping a diary.
Before things go out of hand here, let me state that:
I'm not trying to relate between keeping diaries, going to therapists and failing in relationships, as the former two being the cause for the latter.
All I'm trying to say is....well, it's too early for a clear conclusion. Let me talk for a while first.
Something that I deeply believe in a certain idea in relationships. It's a two-way thing. It requires effort from both sides. As much as it needs mutual feelings for the relationship to even exist, it also needs lots of care and deep communication from both sides to survive. Yes, survive, through the difficulties of life and obstacles that any relationship goes through.
Now, about diaries. I might have some concerns about them, but to be honest and fair (as objective as I'm trying to be), it is quite often the case that one needs to get things out of one's chest, without getting any reply, be it criticism, comments or even support. And the safest way to do that is to talk to your ever-listening, never-talking diary. But...the problem that I have in mind is that some use such a friend; the diary, too much to the extent that they lose the essence of talking to real friends (or even partners) about their problems. People out there, thorough communication with your partner is the key to having the healthiest of relationships.
Now let's get to therapy. It's a bit similar to the diaries thing. I have to admit that it took me a while to get convinced of the use of therapy. I didn't believe that a therapist could be any better than a good friend who knows how to listen to you when you need to talk. But yet again, the problem with therapy is that both sides are human. Some therapists could be not as objective as they should be. And some patients deal with their therapists in the manner that they don't think of whatever their therapists tell them. They take it as if it's out of the Holy book or something.
I stress on the point that I'm not generalizing at all, and I don't refer by any means to most therapists, or therpaists' patients. I'm only referring to some abnormal cases that could possibly happen. What I want to come up from this point is that going to therapy could possibly (a low possibility, that's true, but it's still a possibility) affect the communication between the patient and his/her partner in their intimate relationship.
So, about time for my conclusion. Correct me if I'm wrong, or at least express your opinion if you disagree. Am I exaggerating or could it be actually the case that the reason (or one of the reasons) that the rate of failing relationships in a country of many therapy cases and diaries, like the US, be way more than a country like Egypt, because of less communication between partners. And that decrease in communication between partners is a result of people resorting to other comforting methods, when they have problems, other than communicating with their partners?
Again, I'm not by any means trying to say that the average amount of communication between partners in relationships in Egypt is high, or even good at all. But I believe it could be relatively better than it is in a culture like America's.
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2 comments:
I really loved this post.. Honestly, Chapeau!!! :D I truly admire how you linked the three concepts together to reflect what's currently going on here related to culture and its effect on relationships. However i dont very much agree with the conclusion. I think that here most people would rather stay in a failing relationship to avoid the stigma of being divorced or maybe even out of the fear of being alone, and that also has an element of stigma associated with it. But then again, this particular aspect is further emphasized by the society itself in terms of whether the culture is more of an individualistic or and collectivistic one. One that encourages spontaneity and boldness to face the challenges of life and that of another which encourages social conformity to cultural norms and traditions... A truly interesting topic to think about...
well, i must say i was a bit surprised about u linking the topics together. could i just say my opinion in simple words, i think due to less diversity in culture here in egypt than in the usa, a very "conventional" view of unmarried couples- given the fact that egyptians r more religious than americans, makes people a bit of... well they dont wanna mess with relationships here in egypt coz they dont really think of it being a very easy or normal thing to start over again in something else. and of course, try as we might, most egyptians still consider the divorced as people with bad luck or something, i dont really know exactly but it isn;t considered "nice". therefor, the coupled up think a gr8 deal b4 a divorse.
as for therapy, again a "view" of patients of therapists as crazy people- still dont understand that point either- makes people think twice b4 visiting a therapist.
diaries- mayb we just got less things to write. yes, perhaps given that we talk more.
i hope my point kinda gets thru, although i get ur point, which makes alot of sense by the way.
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